My Untouchable Face

I am a non-event

I have not learned from experience
I have followed neither the line of fortune nor the line of desire
I have studied the imprint left upon the mattress
I have obtained the possession of a shadow
I have yearned for the coming synthesis
I am unwilling to compromise with the dialectic
I reject the mechanical softening of contradiction
We could just kiss and kiss and kiss?
You could give up and live your life(!)
I take no pleasure in what the world cares for
I have built a house of osmanthus wood
I have planted an orchard of orange and pumelo
I will cross that gate when I open it

to the bridge-heart where you toyed with me
& toy with me still all these years
& I have drifted & compromised
But I have been honest & true
I have lacked confidence & I have failed
but I have been honest & true

My bones are those of the chicken
My skin that of the heart attack
My face that of the caged bear
The look of the wolf
The splash of the penguin

I have suffered
The languor of capture
In the context of delusion

I have fallen into interchangeability
Into temporal loss and abandonment

I have fallen into the trap of the dichotomies
I correlate a variety of different referents
I look forward to a better life

I write this my heart on rice paper
It is a recipe of disaster
Ear Ice & Ape
Earth Spice & Shape

It contains certain geometries

They must be soaked in warm rain